What is the surprising life skill that will TRANSFORM your social dancing?

I have a guilty secret: I love medical dramas. Grey's Anatomy or New Amsterdam—no other show or film gives me the same emotional response. I desperately long for a better world where we can truly see people and be seen. In a medical drama, personal suffering strips away the barriers of gender, race, sexuality, or disability.

Our biases might be to blame. We overestimate what we can get done in a day and underestimate what we can accomplish in five years*. Does this put us in competition with the people around us?

I am as guilty as anyone. I've made many mistakes, both recent and in the distant past, where I've placed myself on the opposite side of an often imagined argument.

It is simple to write but difficult to put into action: we can benefit greatly from more empathy.

Maybe it's just me, but we are mostly running on empty. Our internal narratives drag us down, often remaining unshared. And here's one thing: we are not required to share everything with everyone.

If we don't need to share everything, does that mean we can hold space for others to act unexpectedly out of their own personal narrative?

When we dance, we should be connecting with our partner. However, they may engage with the music in a completely different way to ourselves. This makes social dancing the perfect model to explore the benefits of empathy.

Empathy takes hard work. It requires us to imagine the world through someone else's experiences and feel what makes their life more complicated. But when we do, we can live with grace and patience. As predominantly a leader, I take the dance progression slower, communicating my musicality and leading dynamically and creatively, which can quickly flow into a slower, more relaxed style reflecting the music.

This slowness in revealing myself leaves space for me to see the other person, their style, and how they feel the music. This is the foundation from which we can connect and create something better than a metaphorical monologue.

When you are dancing, engage your empathy muscle by:

Active Listening: Focus on what others are saying without interrupting. Feel your partner's energy and try to connect with it. Are they inclined to closeness or dynamics? Where do they find expression and styling, and how can you engage and play with that energy?

Ask Questions: Give your partner different movements (leads or responses), see how they respond, and adapt to those responses.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Try to imagine how you would feel in their situation. Are you dancing in a way that is unreceptive? Are you forcing movements, or are you forcing yourself to be forced?

Show Understanding: We are all on a path through life. No one has all the answers, and no one is always right. So what if it goes wrong? It may go better next time. Can we hold space for the other person to grow and improve? The fear of failure is one of the drivers of failure.

Practice Compassion: Respond with kindness and support. Small gestures of encouragement, gratitude, and kindness can make a big difference. Notice and comment when people improve.

There is a warning with this: we have the choice not to let empathy reduce our boundaries. We can have empathy for another's situation without accepting or condoning their behaviour.

Empathy can transform your dance life into a more surprising and creative experience. We need no reminding that surprise is a key to happiness for the human brain!

And if we use the dancefloor to exercise our empathy muscle? We remember that most people are acting rationally most of the time? We can change our world for the better.

*Commonly attributed to Bill Gates.